“Just Change!” – Why it’s not that Simple to Stop Smoking Weed

“Just Change!” – Why it’s not that Simple to Stop Smoking Weed

Over the last few years, Surfside noticed a massive rise in men who cannot stop smoking weed. Calls from worried parents often share a common theme: their son cannot stop using marijuana in some form, despite a range of consequences. We often hear about co-occurring mental health issues like extreme anxiety, significant depression, or psychotic episodes that may or may not be marijuana induced. Many families also report significant loneliness, isolation, lack of interest in certain activities or life in general, and difficulty with relationships and basic life skills. There is a general sense that their loved one is lost in the world. It appears that the inability to stop smoking weed created someone who is directionless and stagnant.

A substance that used to be considered somewhat harmless in the grand scheme of illicit drugs seems to have a stranglehold on folks, particularly young adults. We’ll to unpack why it’s not so easy to simply “stop smoking weed,” and dive into the insidious nature of marijuana, how it impacts brain chemistry/development, and tools to for families to address substance use.

This is not 1970’s pot

Let’s be clear: the marijuana on the market today is a carefully crafted, high potency relative of the plant smoked in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. Yale School of Medicine provides an easy-to-read overview for those who may not know the ins and outs of marijuana. “Cannabis” refers to any product that is derived from the plant. “Marijuana” is any product that includes the psychoactive THC component of the plant.

Here’s the part that’s worth knowing. The average marijuana product tested for THC by the DEA in 1995 had about 4% THC content. Addiction psychiatrist Elizabeth Stuyt reports that the most popular strains being sold in 2017 had a THC content that ranged from 17-28% THC… a massive increase over the last twenty years. THC items like oil, edibles, dabs, and the like often have an even higher THC concentration – some contain more than 95% THC. For our drinkers, this is like comparing a Wine Cooler to 100 Proof or Grain alcohol. They are vastly different substances.

It’s important for our hippie-minded folks who dabbled back in the day to wrap their head around the big business of marijuana. The days of DeadHeads-turned-growers with a love of plant medicine are a far cry from what we’re seeing. The Marijuana lobby spent $4.5million in 2024 ALONE (check out the money spent on marijuana lobbying since 2011 in the chart from OpenSecrets). This is a massive business with investors hungry for a return-on-investment, just like the alcohol and tobacco industries. With this kind of money involved, it’s no wonder that it’s hard to stop smoking weed… there are a lot of investors hoping you do the exact opposite.

“I heard marijuana isn’t addictive.”

The studies that historically reported that marijuana is not an addictive substance were looking at the substance from years ago. As the chemical makeup of marijuana dramatically shifted in the last 5-10 years, addiction experts believe further, updated research is necessary. Yale School of Medicine published extensive insights from Professor of Psychiatry, Dr. Deepak Cyril D’Souza. He compared our current view of marijuana to the way our society struggled to understand how harmful tobacco was, because “these commercial establishments had armies of lawyers and lobbyists actively suppressing the science that showed a clear link between tobacco and negative health consequences.”

Much like alcohol, we found that the insidious nature of marijuana makes it much more difficult for people to stop smoking weed. There is often a misconception that it’s “just marijuana,” and a better alternative than harder drugs.  In the face of the opiate epidemic, it feels like a lower-risk substance to use. But emerging research highlights a significant risk between marijuana use and development of the pre-frontal cortex (responsible for decision making and executive functioning). Not to mention the research that links to early onset marijuana use and the increased risk of some very significant mental illnesses! Dr. D’Souza spent a huge portion of his career researching cannabis and psychosis. There is a massive need for research on brain development across the lifespan and marijuana use, which Yale intends to address.

The Loneliness Epidemic and Marijuana

We previously published blogs about the Loneliness Epidemic sweeping the US, with a focus on how loneliness impacts men.  Many folks use marijuana in an effort to combat feelings of loneliness and isolation, only to discover that their use frequently exacerbates those feelings.  We know that loneliness often fuels substance use and mental illness, and that community can be a powerful antidote for these feelings.  As men address their problematic relationship with marijuana, they begin to find community with other folks who are willing to be vulnerable about their own struggles.  At Surfside, we find that combining community with a shared hobby/outlet can lay the foundation for a beautiful substance-free life.

As people begin to explore hobbies that they enjoy, they also gain a new awareness that some of their habits (like using marijuana) don’t really align with their personal goals. For men using marijuana since their teens, it often feels like they need to learn how to live a totally new life. This can be daunting and isolating, and family support is often immensely helpful as someone explores sobriety.

Family Dynamics with Marijuana Use

Family dynamics can get really messy as someone struggles with substance use, particularly marijuana use. We see a range of responses from families – some families hoping that marijuana is a less “hard” drug, with other families feeling defeated that society downplays the harmful nature of marijuana.

When a parent hears their son is using marijuana, the reaction of often very different than if their son was using heroin or fentanyl. While opiates have the devastating potential to kill with just one use, we must acknowledge that marijuana use creates a whirlwind of other issues. Marijuana induced psychosis or the exacerbation of significant mental health issues (like schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder) can create a very different nightmare for families. It’s important for us to understand that this substance has the capacity to knock someone’s life totally off track.

Conversely, we often speak to parents who feel stunned by the lack of concern about their son’s marijuana use.  Their child cannot stop smoking weed and his life is full of chaos, but medical providers lack an understanding of marijuana use. Families frequently report that insurance will not cover residential treatment, even though they have unsuccessfully tried lower levels of clinical care.

Addressing the impact of problematic marijuana use on the family system requires an understanding of 2025’s marijuana: a potent chemical compound loaded with THC. Parents who used marijuana recreationally in their teens and twenties should be armed with the knowledge that this is not the same substance. If your son is facing a whirlwind of challenges in his personal life related to his marijuana use, it’s important to accept that he may not being able to stop smoking weed without a significant clinical AND lifestyle intervention. It can be heartbreaking to imagine someone putting their education or job on “pause” as they focus on addressing their substance use disorder.

Our message to families is simple: you are not alone. Whether your child, partner or spouse is struggling with marijuana use, opiate use, or alcoholism, our message is the same: invest time in your own healing. Lean on other families who have walked a similar path. Find an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting and get a sponsor. Find a therapist that you trust. Heed the same advice we share with your son: if you don’t like a meeting, try a different one. If you don’t “click” with your therapist, try a new one!

Steps 6 & 7 in Al-Anon teach us that even if our loved one stopped using drugs or alcohol today, we’d continue to have our doubts, our distrust, our fear, and our resentment. Recovery for the entire family is about much more than just not using. Embrace the tools at your fingertips and reach out to the Surfside team if you need recommendations for virtual family support groups, therapists, or other resources.