Building an Addiction Recovery Support Network

Often addiction treatment centers harp on the basics of recovery: steer clear of people, places and things, know your triggers, and ask for help.  But “asking for help” requires an addiction recovery support network, which requires a bit of effort to build. We’ll highlight a few benefits of creating this system of supportive friends and family. This network can be one of many tools used to enhance sobriety.

What is an Addiction Recovery Support Network?

Nearly every standard relapse prevention group in a treatment setting will encourage clients to ask for help if they’re struggling with cravings, triggers, or intrusive thoughts.  A “support network” for a person in recovery from substance use disorder is simply a group of reliable people who encourage us as we navigate our new life without drugs/alcohol. Though a support network may include family members, it’s primarily composed of objective peers who are in different stages of their own recovery. This network may also include clinical professionals (like a therapist or case manager) and peer support professionals (like a recovery coach). 

Asking for Help

If we are to live in recovery, it’s a guarantee that we will experience challenges and low spots – it’s part of life.  For those in recovery from addiction, our support network is the first place we turn when we need help.  Whether we’re experiencing extreme cravings, discord in our personal life, fear about the future, financial worries, or overwhelming emotions, a strong support network means we have a friend to lean on.  

Often our peers in 12-step groups will encourage us to “pick up the phone.”  For the guys at Surfside, we require at least 3 phone calls to your network daily.  The reality is, if we can’t figure out how to talk about the mundane day-to-day, we certainly won’t feel comfortable picking up the phone when we’re going through a tough time.  Learning how to use the phone and ask for help means that we’ll be more inclined to ask for help during more difficult situations. Sometimes “asking for help” is as simple as, “What meeting should I go to today?”

Providing Accountability

An addiction recovery support network can provide accountability in all sorts of useful ways.  First, they notice the important details about us – they begin to sense when we are withdrawn/upset or beginning to isolate.  Having a network that says “I haven’t seen you in a few days, is everything ok?” can be pivotal in helping us stay ingrained in our community.

As our recovery unfolds, our support network transforms into a group of friends who want to know what our goals are and how they can be supportive.  This network can be crucial in reminding us what we really want in life. They frequently encourage us to “pause when agitated or doubtful” so we can keep our goals at the forefront. 

Creating Sober Memories

One of the best ways to form genuine relationships with others is through shared experiences. From a long hike to a day at the beach, we start to create beautiful sober memories that encourage us during challenging times.  Participating in small group activities (like a trip to Mount Surfside) gives us the chance to be more vulnerable with a small group of people.  Many of us are fearful that sobriety means our fun life is over, even if life hasn’t been fun for us in a very long time.  We are more likely to step outside of our comfort zone if we have a friend or two with us. Our support network can be a powerful motivator to try new things!

Finding Authentic Relationships

Addiction robs us of connection with others.  Recovery teaches us about the spiritual axiom: “every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.” Often we are afraid to trust others because we’ve spent a long time being untrustworthy.  Our support network starts to reveal that it’s safe and rewarding to be vulnerable with others.  We learn that a friend who tells us the truth about ourselves/our behavior is a gift.  We begin to understand that fear has ruled our past relationships (fear of not being liked, not being good enough, not being accepted, etc.).  

As we begin to build a network, we form beautiful relationships.  The person we call to “check in” with becomes a person we look forward to hearing from. We start to learn more about who we are, what we like, what we want, and what our goals are.  And with a strong support network, we find others who want us to be successful.

Staying Connected

Our network keeps us connected. Not just to one another, but also connected to the next person who perhaps needs a little extra love and support. Our support network notices when we’re not around and keeps an eye out for troublesome behaviors. As our network grows, we begin to meet more people who we connect with deeply, even if we’re different on the surface. Our world truly expands when we open the door and let someone else in.